A parent moving to a care home (RSA): what to do with the house and furniture

The short answer

The house and what is in it belong to your parent, and the decision stays theirs. They take the little that is needed to the care home, the family shares out what it wants to keep, and the rest can wait in storage, with no end date, while you decide whether the house is rented, sold or emptied.

I run a home-pickup storage service in Milan, so on storage I'm biased. On fees, ISEE and tax relief I'm not a consultant: I point you to the official sources, where they matter.

Three roads for the house, and what happens to what's inside

Table first, because the real question is one: what the house becomes, and where the furniture goes while you decide. The three roads aren't forever: you start on one and you can change. The fourth row is for people who haven't decided yet.

Whose decision it is, before any box

The house belongs to your parent, and the decision is theirs: your job is to help them see the roads, not to pick one for them. With a parent who says «nothing gets thrown away», the most respectful road is also the most practical. Nothing is thrown away, and what isn't needed right now is set aside.

What goes to the care home (and what doesn't)

A care-home room is small, and often shared or furnished by the facility. So you take little, and you take what makes the room theirs: the armchair that knows their back, the blanket, the photos. Rules differ from one facility to another: ask the care home before loading the car, because a seven-drawer chest in a twelve-square-metre room is a negotiation you lose.

• Things you hold and look at: photos, a radio, a book.

• Home textiles: the blanket, the cushions, curtains in the right colors, if the facility allows.

• One or two things that work as a flag, say the dining-room clock.

• Clothes for the current season, not all four: the care-home wardrobe is not the wardrobe at home.

• Nothing the facility has to answer for: medicines and original documents follow the care home's rules, and original documents are not something we store anyway.

Sharing things out between siblings, calmly

Sharing out is often the most delicate part. A simple method helps: first you list everything, then you pick in turns. With the list in front of you, everyone knows what there is and deciding together is easier.

For the list there is the post on the home inventory template, and below you'll find the downloadable inventory guide: a printable form to know what is in every box and what state the furniture is in. My advice is to photograph the inside of the drawers before emptying them: there are often things in there nobody remembered.

If your parent takes part in the sharing, even better: «I'd like this one for my grandchild» said by them is worth more than any sheet of paper.

The rest in storage, for as long as it takes

What doesn't go to the care home and doesn't go to anyone yet needs a place to wait. I don't have a solution that decides for you, I have a place where things stay still and nobody is in a hurry. Long-term storage with us is open-ended: it carries on month by month and stays as long as you want, with no end date and no cancellation fee when you close it.

The warehouse is indoor, dry and access-controlled. It isn't open to visits, so the drawers aren't there to browse: when you need something, you ask for it back. We collect from home, in Milan and the surrounding provinces, and if a piece won't fit through the door we take it apart on a quote, as the page on furniture disassembly and assembly explains.

At pickup you or someone you've delegated has to be there: a brother, a neighbor, the caretaker. Your parent doesn't need to be there, and you don't need to take a day off.

The part that matters for this topic is partial redelivery. One day your parent asks for the armchair at the care home, or wants to give an album to a grandchild: you write to Smoves what you want back, the rest stays in storage, and you pay when you book that redelivery. Redelivery goes to the address you choose, so not necessarily to your home: it can go straight to the care home, or to the grandchild. The point is that nothing is irreversible: while things are in storage, the decision can still change.

• Open-ended: it carries on month by month, and stays as long as you want.

• Partial redelivery: write what you want back, the rest stays.

• Redelivery to the address you choose, within the service area, with 48 hours' notice.

• A delegated person is enough at pickup.

• Close whenever you want, by requesting full redelivery from your account.

Fees, ISEE and tax relief: where to look

This part is plain, and it isn't advice. I only say where to look, because the rules depend on Region, Municipality and the family's situation.

In Lombardy, the fee of an RSA has a part borne by the Regional Health Fund and a part borne by residents or municipalities, as the Regione Lombardia page on RSAs explains. In Milan the application goes straight to the chosen RSA, with the single form and the sheet filled in by the doctor: the ATS Milano page describes it.

For anyone seeking benefits there is an ISEE dedicated to residential care: the ISEE types are on INPS's site, and a CAF tells you which one applies. For the tax return, the Agenzia delle Entrate writes that when an elderly person is admitted to a care institution the relief applies to medical expenses and not to the fee: the detail is on its page on healthcare expenses.

If the house is rented or sold to pay the fee, the income also changes the ISEE: before signing, talk to a CAF or whoever follows the paperwork.

What I see in the field: pickup is done by whoever is there

Sometimes the customer can't be there. The roommate opens, the caretaker, a friend, and we know what has to leave because the list is already there. With a family home it's the same: a brother opens, a neighbor.

I always sum it up the same way: pickup is a door that opens and a list that gets checked. Whoever opens needn't know anything about furniture, only what time we arrive and where the light switch is. The maximum weight of each box is 20 kg, because one person lifts it. Chests and wardrobes have no such limit, because we carry them down ourselves, and we know staircases without an elevator by name.

When storage isn't the right answer

If you already know the house sells in two months and everything goes to three different people, storage is pointless: three trips and done. The same goes if the furniture is very little and fits in a cellar, or if you need to open it every week. In that case a unit with the key in your pocket is more convenient than ours.

Storage works when there are many things, the decision isn't made, and nobody has a free Saturday every week. For anyone in that situation in Milan there is the page on furniture storage in Milan; to work out how much space you need, there is the size guide.